To Fly
by soralia
Summary: In a life defined by limitations, Hyuuga Neji has accepted the hand fate has dealt him. Yet deep inside, he fights to believe that fate is not insurmountable.
1. Chapter 1

Thanks to the wonderful response I've gotten regarding my Orochimaru fic, I've decided to go ahead and post this one as well, as they're both written in a very similar style. I was reluctant at first to post this, because I've seen a number of fics written on Neji and I like to at least try to be more original. However, I have yet to find a fic that I think fully captures his perspective, and since he is my favorite character from the Naruto series, I wanted to give my own perspective.

Will there be pairings in this fic? Yes. However, a fic isn't defined by its pairings. Rather, the pairing is a part of the story and thus I'll leave you to find out when the story progresses that far.

I hope you enjoy this first chapter and as always I adore feedback. So please read and review. Let me know what you're thinking!

-sor

* * *

Memories are strange things. You can forget what you ate for lunch only a few days ago, but you can remember clear as a bell events that happened when you were hardly old enough to make sense of the world. But then, for the longest time, the world never seemed to make sense. If there ever had been a time, it must have been beyond memory.

The first thing I remember is the sealing.

Not details and not the process itself, but I remember crying when it was finished. I remember my father lifting me up and holding me to his chest in that protective manner that is so instinctive to all parents. His entire form was shaking as if on the verge of some great explosion. When we didn't leave, I lifted my head, which had been buried firmly against his shoulder, and peered tentatively over my arm as I clung tightly to his neck. Hiashi-sama was there, looking as silent and impassive as ever. The tension between them was so great that I even forgot my own pain for a moment and glanced in shock from one to the other.

It might as well have been a meeting between two titans. My father's face was like stone. No, it was worse; as if he had become, if only for a moment, some angry, vengeful demon out of nightmares. The hatred in him was tangible, solid and real enough that it even stopped my tears and left me in a quiet awe, nearly unaware of the ache in my forehead. Never had I seen my father in such a state and it frightened me. It must have left Hiashi-sama unsettled as well, for it brought out the tone he only used to assert his authority. "Hizashi, take him home."

Father didn't budge, though. His hold on me tightened for a moment, and though it was a bit too tight, I didn't complain. I could sense in father that he needed it more than I needed to snuggle comfortingly against him. There is only so much that can be done when faced with a member of the main family and though I knew that every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than to strike out, my father had developed an admirable restraint from years of forced silence and deference. He merely regarded Hiashi-sama with veiled eyes and spoke with a forcefulness I had never heard from him in their presence. "One day."

Those two words burned themselves into my mind as surely as the cursed seal was burned into my forehead. I wanted very badly to ask what he'd meant, but it wasn't until we had returned home and were safe within the confines of our own four walls that I found my courage. The face father showed at home was much different than the one he showed to the main family. He seemed more tired and his eyes became vacant, his movements almost mechanical. He set me down gently on the sofa and ran a hand fleetingly over my forehead, pushing away a few strands of hair that had fallen out of place. Only his hand lingered there, pressed against the heat of that mark and it was then and only then that I saw him as truly vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, Neji." He sounded so sincerely heartbroken that for a moment I wondered if he had done something terrible I didn't know about. It took time to realize that he was apologizing for the seal; for the thing _they_ had done to me.

I hated seeing my father look so weak, so I attempted what every child does when he finds his pillar of strength suddenly crumbling. I placed my hand over his, pulling it away from my forehead and clutching it tightly. I still didn't fully understand what had happened; understanding wouldn't come until I first saw the cursed seal used against father, so it was easy for me to be comforting. "It's all right, father. It doesn't really hurt anymore."

He attempted to smile, but father had never been good with smiles. We Hyuuga are trained practically from birth to be stoic to a fault and it is a difficult habit to break, even when we wish to. It was this curse that kept father from fooling me into believing things truly would be all right and I know my own reassuring smile faltered then. It even turned to worry when he stepped away, returning a moment later with bandages in hand, which he deftly used to wrap my forehead and hide the seal, even before I'd had my first chance to look at it.

"You must keep your forehead covered now, Neji." He had turned mechanical again, speaking as if the words had been rehearsed and memorized in advance. "It would not do for you to flaunt a mark of shame such as this. It is a secret of our clan, not to be shown to outsiders, not even to be spoken of outside of these walls." His hands dropped from my head, smoothing my hair just once in the hopes of somehow soothing me, though it did not help. His words had begun to have the entirely opposite effect.

Like all children, I asked the inevitable question. "Why?"

Father looked a bit exasperated, as he lifted me up again, carrying me through the far door that led to my bedroom. He set me on my feet beside the bed, one hand lingering atop my head in the sort of affectionate gesture I'd come to expect from him. "You should rest. I'll answer your questions tomorrow."

Looking back I realize he couldn't have possibly spoken more of it then. He, like so many members of the branch family, detested speaking of our fate, as it drew forth an anger so ferocious it felt as if your chest had burst into flame. I didn't understand that anger yet, but I could see it in him as easily as seeing through a pane of glass. So I allowed him to tuck me into bed and dim the lights. It was only when he lingered for a moment in the doorway that I stopped him. "Father?"

When he spoke, father's voice was soft and laden with sorrow. "Yes?"

"You told Hiashi-sama 'one day.' What did you mean?"

I could not see his face as it was cast in shadow, the light from the front room blinding me to all but his silhouette. However, it seemed as if there was an odd change in it, almost as if he were smiling, though I knew better than to think such a thing. "I meant that one day the strength of the branch family will surpass that of the main family. That your strength will surpass theirs and they will look to you for the true meaning of power."

Father pulled the door to before I could question further, leaving me to lay awake and wonder just how I, insignificant as I was, could become more powerful than even the strongest of the main family.

This was my first vivid memory of my father, the image that remained burned into my mind for the rest of my life. The calm, measured defiance, pushing firmly against the limits placed upon him. I remember very little else about him, though I can recollect from time to time images of him that I cannot place. I remember every inch of his face and not because I see it every day in Hiashi-sama. To my eyes, they were as different as night and day. I couldn't say in words exactly how I saw him. Only that there was something behind his eyes that I could never have understood at my age. A deep sadness that I never grasped until I grew older and was able to look back on those few memories of his face. He was always so calm and resolute and as a child I admired that most in him. Father was strong. Unbreakable. He was my world.

So I suppose, as cliché as it might sound, when he died my world was shattered.

Memory is a strange thing. I wanted so badly to forget the day when they carried him in, unmoving. Hiashi-sama was there as well, face cold as ice. He didn't even care. That angered me more than the rest of it. It overwhelmed me and in a moment of uncontrolled fury, I launched myself at him, fists pounding against his legs. An unthinkable act for a branch family member to even lay hands on the main family, let alone deal blows.

It's strange to recall now, especially since I didn't notice it nor did I remember for years, but Hiashi-sama never stopped me. He allowed every single blow, even seeming to wince when they struck, though I know my small fists could not have hurt him. Time stood still and in my grief I didn't notice the hands prying me away until my fists only struck air.

The man who'd lifted me was one of Hiashi-sama's cousins, I think, a low ranking member of the main family. He held no power within the clan structure other than his family status, so he took great delight in bullying the branch families. I remember many occasions in which he used his rank to humiliate us or taunt us, wanting us to strike back only so he could put us back in our place. That was the type of man he was. That was why, despite my tears and grief, the bastard shook me like a rag doll, berating me for daring to lay a hand on Hiashi-sama.

I remember now, it was Hiashi-sama who stopped him, berating him in that same tone; and I remember taking a moment's pleasure in it. I learned after that to take what pleasure I could in small victories, even to create such victories by pushing my limits as far as I dared. It has always been somehow ingrained in the branch family to refuse complete submission and sometimes I think that because of it, our pride can overwhelm that of even the main family. But at that time, I couldn't appreciate that pleasure nor take pride in it. Even when Hiashi-sama took me himself and carried me from the room.

He set me on the porch outside, hesitating a moment as if he wished to speak, but in the end he never said a word, only stepping inside once more, securing the door behind him. A weeping branch child had no business in clan politics. He no doubt had hoped I would wander off on my own rather than providing him with a constant reminder of his selfishness. I stayed on the porch, some stubborn part of me refusing to leave, as they obviously wanted me to. Already I was learning to rebel in what small ways I could, using my grief and my age as a shield against punishment. Still, I was only a child and those thoughts were only in the back of my mind as I sat alone weeping on the steps.

I don't remember being startled by the sudden pressure of a hand on my arm, but only being surprised that I hadn't seen anyone approach. Of course, she had come silently as she always did, even at three years old. Never have I known in all the years since such a quiet child as Hinata-sama, who now sat on the steps beside me, one tiny hand resting on my forearm.

Like any little boy, I didn't want to be seen crying and made a valiant attempt to wipe away the tears before she noticed, but my efforts were wasted. I discovered then, that the only way to hide tears was with something stronger… and as I looked at her, those innocent eyes, the gentle way she leaned forward to look at me… I hated her. For reasons I couldn't even fathom, I hated that delicate, timid little thing.

It was all her fault, after all.

Certainly, even at four years old, some part of me understood that Hinata-sama wasn't to blame. She could hardly have done anything to prevent herself from being taken, especially by such a strong shinobi… a village leader. But I told myself she should have been stronger. She was weak and unable to defend herself, even the slightest bit. She was pathetic. I didn't want her sympathy. "Go away."

She didn't budge. It infuriated me that she would stay when she was clearly not wanted. I shoved her then, taking courage from the lack of punishment earned for striking Hiashi-sama. The shove startled her, that much I could at least be happy with, but that pleasure was short-lived. Even physical violence didn't deter the little brat. She simply sat there next to me, staring at me with those wide eyes, wondering what she had done to earn such treatment.

That last ounce of frustration finally broke me and the tears came again, stronger this time, blurring my vision so that I didn't notice when she moved again. I was only aware of her presence again when a pair of chubby arms wrapped around my shoulders and held me cradled against her. "Don't cry, Neji-nii-san."

It was then that the last of my fury drained away. I remember feeling overwhelmed. Helpless. Only able to lean against that tiny body and cry, despite the burning hatred and anger that told me I shouldn't rely on her for this. That I couldn't trust her. But she only sat there, still and silent as a mouse, one tiny hand every now and again touching my hair, petting me in a soothing manner I could not fully comprehend.

Some time later the business concluded inside and I vaguely recall her being sent away by a few harsh words from Hiashi-sama. By that time I had exhausted myself, even so much that I allowed Hiashi-sama to bring me home and leave me in the care of an old aunt. One of my own kind.

Aunt Masako lived a few doors down from where I had lived with my father and she was the type of motherly old lady that always indulged all the children who came to her door. She fed us treats before supper, whispering that we shouldn't tell our parents. She delighted in telling stories, fairy tales that kept us entranced for hours. She was always the first to mend scraped knees and elbows, or bandage cuts and scrapes, tender as any mother and twice as gentle. Indeed, my cousins and I flocked to her like bees to honey.

Perhaps the children all came to her because she held high rank among us. She'd been long married to Hyuuga Haruki, the younger brother of the clan head, who for many years had served as the head of the branch families, acting as a liaison between branch and main. He was the only link between families, maintaining the order and the tense peace that held between us. It was a duty he'd planned to pass to my father, as such rank often fell to the closest kin to the clan leader. He'd hoped to retire from such a stressful position as his brother had intended to resign his leadership of the clan due to age and ill health. However, with father dead, the next logical heir to the position was me, as my blood was more strongly connected to the main family than even Haruki-sama, since father and Hiashi-sama had been twins.

So not only did Haruki-sama train me as a ninja, he trained me as a politician of sorts, as well. He taught me to read faces and body language, utilizing the sharp eyes of our clan as most others had neglected over the years. My uncle often told me that our clan had grown complacent in our position and we had grown over-confidant. We neglected all that our blood was capable of. And he saw in me what father had always seen; the potential to one day be stronger than even the main family. The potential to utilize the gifts of my blood in ways that even the main family could not imagine.

The key to taking back a little of the strength that was ever denied us.

I relished the opportunity. It was just the type of responsibility every boy wanted for himself, to change the fortune of his family and make them strong again. The chance to prove to everyone that he wasn't going to be held back by family politics. It would have been a waste of my Hyuuga blood to simply sit back and allow the main family to flaunt the strength it did not have when the real strength of our blood lay hidden away behind a cursed seal.

So I trained, fueled by my hatred of the main family, growing stronger faster than even Haruki-sama had anticipated. By the time I was eight years old and ready to enter the academy, I had nearly mastered the finer points of Juuken. Haruki-sama was so proud of me. It was one of the few times that I can recall that I was actually close to being completely happy. I anticipated the entry ceremony like any other child might anticipate a birthday, and mostly because I wanted Haruki-sama to see me accepted. I wanted him to be there so badly.

So it was devastating when Hiashi-sama demanded that he take me, himself. As the leader of the Hyuuga Clan, it was his duty to present its strongest child to the world. We'd not hidden my strength from him and so I soothed myself with the thought that he must be as furious at me as I was at him for making Hinata-sama look so weak.

The ceremony was an unbelievable disappointment. It was all merely a formality for Hiashi-sama and he seemed bored throughout. He didn't even seem to notice that from the very start I stood head and shoulders above the rest of my class. There wasn't another child there with any remarkable background; no children from any other major clans, none born from any talented parent. I was the only saving grace among a class full of pathetic misfits. Of course, this meant nothing to Hiashi-sama. He considered it a waste of his precious time. Once it was over, we returned home in silence where I was then unceremoniously dumped back into Haruki-sama's care.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed my first chapter and thank you for those of you who reviewed. I'm flattered by your feedback, as always. I hope you will continue to read and review.

This chapter contains a lot of exposition; much more than I'm used to putting into a chapter. However, the next chapter will finally begin to lean more to the narrative side. So bear with me through Neji's internal dialogue.

Not much else to say so please enjoy chapter 2.

-sor

* * *

In my first year at the academy, I excelled in every way, as had been expected of me. It was no challenge to receive the highest marks in the class. Report cards became only a formality, a confirmation of what everyone already knew was true. Hyuuga Neji was a genius. This distinction earned me enormous praise from the branch families, but from the main family? Not a word.

At least, not a word until a year later, when I was 'asked' to escort Hinata-sama to the academy once her classes began. Hiashi-sama told me it was high time I assumed my responsibilities to the family and stopped focusing so selfishly on only myself. It took every ounce of control I had not to ask him who was really the selfish one between him and me. Haruki-sama and I were known for our early morning departures and the hours of work we put in before I set off for my classes. Forcing me to attend Hinata-sama would be a detriment to my morning training. Hiashi-sama knew this.

When he'd left me to my own devices, I excused myself and slipped away into the gardens, leaving poor Aunt Masako frowning in my wake. Now that I look back, I think she often worried for me like that, but not once did she attempt to soothe me out of my darker moods. It was also the unspoken task of the branch families, after all, to learn to turn our anger into strength. It wasn't in us to coddle our children and weaken them, teaching them only to cower and submit. It was imperative that we learned not only to fight our enemies, but to fight our own emotions as well.

I had not been long settled beneath the boughs of a large oak, slowly peeling away piece by piece at a blade of grass, when my solitude was interrupted. I heard the footsteps later than I should have. They were soft, almost inaudible among the chirping of the birds and the rustling of the leaves above. Too soft to be someone fully grown. In fact, there was only one person in the entire family who walked so painfully timidly.

She came around the bend, then, still such a tiny thing even at eight years old. Delicate and gentle as she held out a hand to touch the late blooming flowers. Never before do I remember hating her so venomously as I did in that instant when I hated her for things far beyond her control. She was so weak. If she weren't such a weakling, I wouldn't have to lose my training time with Haruki-sama to play babysitter to the main family's brat.

Still, angry as I was, I was content simply to let her pass. The sooner she was gone from my sight, the better. Yet, I suppose it was my typical ill luck that set her gaze straight upon me. I was a fool for thinking I could hide from Hyuuga eyes, even if they belonged to the least capable member of the family in generations.

"Neji-nii-san…" She sounded surprised to see me and right away she started in with those ridiculous nervous mannerisms that had no place in the Hyuuga Clan. She didn't even deserve to go to the academy when she acted like that! What kind ninja was so uncertain? It was ridiculous! Especially when so many children of the branch families were denied entry into the academy due only to their familial status. Stronger children than Hinata-sama.

"Go away." It was my typical reply to any greeting from her. She wasn't welcome in my presence and she damn well knew it. Yet she still persisted. Always persisted.

"Otousama told me you'd agreed to escort me. Neji-nii-san, I'm so glad you…"

I cut her off, my tone cold as ice. "I didn't agree to anything. If I'd had my way, I'd just as soon not bother with you. You shouldn't even be allowed entry to the academy, but I guess they'll take any loser if they have enough influence." The words stung her. Good. It always brought me such pleasure to hurt her, if only because to hurt Hinata-sama was to hurt _them_ as well. Only she wasn't brave enough to fight back. So when she didn't answer, I went on, empowered even more by her silence.

I stood, prepared to use my height as further advantage. Height intimidated smaller individuals.. Haruki-sama always told me to use my height as an advantage where it would suit me best. Any advantage was a good advantage, especially against someone so timid and frightened. "Did you know that Keitaro wasn't even allowed to go to the academy? But he's still able to hold his ground with me. I'll bet you don't even know who Keitaro is!" The main family never cared about anyone who didn't have the right blood, after all.

"I know him…" Her response threw my confidence for an instant. Keitaro was only a minor cousin, far distant from the strong blood of the main family. I had been there when he'd petitioned Hiashi-sama for permission to attend the academy and was denied without reason or explanation. That Hinata-sama knew him…

I hardened myself again, refusing to allow something so simple as that throw off my aim. There was a purpose behind this, after all. Beneath all my anger and hurt, there was always the more calculating part of my mind and strove to push her. Maybe if I pushed hard enough, or long enough, or hit just the right target, she might grow angry with me. She might fight back or at least tell Hiashi-sama. Then I would have real cause to hate her, not only half imagined reasons.

She wasn't like the rest of them. She was always kind to us. She spoke to me as if we were close kin rather than separated by a wide chasm or treat me like I was less than her. Still, I hated her for being kind because it meant I couldn't hate her for other reasons. She was an anomaly in my view of the world. She didn't fit. It was… unsettling.

So again, I pushed. "Do you think it's fair that he's not allowed to go, but that a pathetic loser you like you is?" I wanted so badly to make her angry. To maker her lash out. I wanted her to hate me so that I wouldn't feel so guilty for hating her. It is a difficult thing to think rationally in the face of something you consider a great injustice and years later I looked back on all of this and felt like a fool. I worked so hard for many years to alienate my one, true ally and I suppose it is a testament to Hinata-sama that she was not crushed completely.

When she failed again to respond, only standing there trembling like a frightened deer, my anger increased all the more. Finally I stepped forward, closing the distance between us until I was close enough to touch her. And again, in a tone like ice, I asked her. "Do you think you'll get better at the academy? Do you think somehow they can turn you into a decent ninja?" I snorted at the thought. Not likely. That much I was sure of. Unless the academy could somehow work miracles!

"Neji-nii-san, I…." Her voice was trembling now, like the rest of her and I thought I'd heart a hint of apology in her voice. She was sorry? She pitied me! I didn't need her pity!

"Look at you!" I reached out and committed the one infraction that would have had me beaten within an inch of my life had we not been alone. I took hold of her forearm and held it up for her to see the trembling in her hands. "You can't even stand up for yourself. You're pathetic!"

I wanted with all my soul in that instant to see her face turn angry; to have her call for Hiashi-sama to protect her. Yet in the same moment, I relished the power I held. I had laid a hand on the main family with intent to do harm. Father had been punished severely for even the thought of such a thing! I hadn't been fully able to comprehend before how such an action would feel. I felt empowered; strong; the strongest I had ever felt. It was due to such an overwhelming feeling that I did not notice right away that my grip on her arm had grown stronger and judging by her expression, I was hurting her. Hurting the main family…

"Neji-nii-san, please… you're hurting me." Her voice nearly brought me back to my senses, but only enough for me to realize that my grip really was too strong for her. And her arms were so tiny… But in the same instant I hardened myself once more. I had found a new course.

"Can't you stop me? Aren't you strong enough, Hinata-sama?" Even I was surprised at the bitterness in my voice, because I knew for certain that she could make me stop if she had really wanted to. But she didn't… Why didn't she?

"Why don't you use it, Hinata-sama?" There was something more in my voice now, though I wasn't sure what. Confusion maybe. Guilt, quite probably. But still, the question came again, unbidden. "Why don't you use the seal?" I had seen it used far too often for much lesser offenses.

"I don't want to…" She attempted to step back, hoping to dislodge my hand, but I didn't even notice. My mind was still attempting, in vain, to wrap itself around her reply. She didn't want to?

"Neji-nii-san…" She tried to step away again and this time I let her go, taking a few steps back, unable to maintain any semblance of the anger that had been so quickly encompassed with confusion.

Of course, it wouldn't do for me to be so silent, especially in the face of what had turned out to be an overwhelming defeat on my part. My pride demanded a parting blow and I dealt it almost without thinking. "So the main family breeds cowards as well as weaklings."

I left her after that, retreating to the safety and privacy of my room in Haruki-sama's household.

Despite it all, I ended up doing my duty, though I did it as grudgingly as humanly possible. Every day for three years I walked to and from the academy with Hinata-sama in my wake. Every day for three years I walked faster than was comfortable for her, forcing her into a hurried pace so she wouldn't be left behind. And every day for three years I heard no complaint.

It was enough to drive a man out of his mind.

I was glad when graduation came, if only so I might abandon that ridiculous babysitting duty and turn my attention to more important things. I had graduated at the top of my class, to the surprise of none, and there were many whispers among the sensei regarding my strength and potential. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every bit of it. It was about time someone recognized me for what I was: an unrivaled genius. I was in the perfect position then to excel. Things could not have been better. Which was why, I suppose, fate decided to throw such a large wrench into my plans.

The fates were laughing at me the first time I laid eyes on Gai-sensei.

From the moment he sat us down as a team and began spouting that nonsense about hard work, I had resolved myself to become strong _despite_ this poor excuse for a team I'd been assigned. No, even then I realized the team was not entirely worthless, despite the innumerable flaws. Even the most useless of human beings could be of some use in the right situation.

For instance, Rock Lee made for a good moving target dummy.

From the very start, Gai-sensei was a mystery to me. I was relieved beyond words that my clan's specialized training required me to spend as much time training at home as I did with the team. I'm sure, even now, had I spent every day with Gai-sensei I may have lost my mind. Even now that I understand him better and have even come to like him, there are still times when he can be absolutely infuriating.

But back then, those times were as numerous as blades of grass. From the start, I wanted nothing more than to be free of the man. Every word grated. Maito Gai was the type of man who believed first and foremost in himself and lived a life with no limitations, but not because limitations did not exist. They were there and they were plenty, but Gai-sensei refused to see. He was blind in the worst way and after our very first meeting, I felt sorry for the man. There was something intrinsically childlike about him and his faith that both fascinated and repulsed me.

His emotion was unlike anything I had ever seen, living the sheltered life I had within the clan, learning only to hide my feelings away rather than express them boisterously, or even at all. There was a part of me that was envious of Gai-sensei's ability to feel passionate, even if that passion was often misdirected into frivolities. I found his rivalry with Kakashi-sensei ridiculous and his self imposed rules pointless. What was the point of wasting hours upon hours on theinsane chore of taking five hundred laps around Konoha? Gai-sensei's training challenged the body, no doubt, but I never felt for a moment that it challenged the mind. What use was stamina if in the end you couldn't think your way out of a paper bag?

The biggest challenge that faced both he and I was that of learning to communicate with one another. As much as his passion was off-putting to me, my stoic nature was just as foreign to him and for much of our initial months together, he and I suffered from a deplorable lack of understanding. Because of this, I was increasingly resistant to his training, despite the fact that whatever else he may be, Gai-sensei was the epitome of a taijutsu master. Had it not been for my eventual acceptance of his training, I would never have become the ninja I am today. Thanks to Gai-sensei, my speed is second to none within the clan and I am probably the only member of Hyuuga who would be able to hold his own in a fight without using an ounce of Juuken.

In fact, for the first few months I was under his leadership, he refused to allow me to use Juuken. I was bitterly resistant, as I had come to rely almost exclusively on my unparalleled proficiency with the clan's techniques. But Gai-sensei had been right. Though I struggled for a time, I am proud to admit that his rigorous taijutsu training served me well. Plus, it had the added bonus of making it even easier to counter Lee when he and I sparred.

Still, Gai-sensei and I were polar opposites, and I flat out refused to take part in his boisterous enthusiasm for hard work, even if I too believed in working myself to the bone. But, perhaps it was more than his enthusiasm that grated. Perhaps if he had been so enthused to have the number one rookie on his team, it might have inspired me to be a bit more interested, but rather than looking to me as his prized student, he looked to that useless, talentless Lee. Was I jealous? Yes. Painfully so. I had been passed up again in favor of some weakling whose only talent was making noise.

Most people don't remember Lee when he was younger. Indeed, it's hard to imagine him as anything but the miniature of Gai-sensei he has become. It really was fascinating to watch the change in him, even if at the time I hadn't been able to fully appreciate it. All I could think of then was what a fool he was. When he was a new genin, Rock Lee was probably the weakest fighter I had ever seen and now, even if I won't say so within the idiot's range of hearing, he is one of the strongest.

I suppose I hated him the most because he had such hope. Nothing was impossible. Such was the ridiculous innocence he had. I pitied him for that, knowing that some day he would learn the real truths of the world and be crushed. No matter how hard men tried, they could not change the will of fate, even if they wanted it with all of their heart and soul. I took it upon myself, in a way, to force Lee to recognize it. The sooner he realized he would never be strong enough to defeat a true genius, the sooner he could focus his work on more productive things.

But still, I envied his heart. Even then, I had begun to recognize the strength in him. He was a talented fighter and despite his setbacks, he had used what he had to the best of his ability. In that small way, we were alike. We were both struggling for power within the confines of our destinies. Only I knew better than to hope one day things would change and I hated that Lee did not. I hated him and I envied him. I wanted to believe. I wished so many times that I was wrong, that destiny could be changed, but the more I wished, the more clear it became that it was not the case. And so I hated Lee and I put so much effort into defeating him, if only to prove my point before it was too late.

Yet, even as I defeated him each time, I noted the change in him. It was rapid and unexpected; the speed, the power. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but it was impressive. Rock Lee was a skilled fighter. Only I couldn't tell him so. The fool would have only let such praise from his 'rival' go to his head and he would have taken it to mean I had given up on my beliefs on destiny. There was no middle ground in his mind. To give him one ounce of praise would undo all the work I had put towards hopefully saving him from the crushing blow of eventual defeat.

Maybe even then I didn't want to see the idiot hurt.

Still, my main motivation to continue besting Lee was purely selfish. I wasn't about to let some pathetic dropout defeat the number one rookie. Such a thing would bring humiliation not only upon me but on the entire clan. Not that I was against the humiliation of the main family, but I certainly did not want such a thing at my own expense.

I suppose one could say that I improved as quickly as I did because of Lee and his ridiculous rivalry. I recognized after a time that it would take effort to continue to best him. He had speed, after all, and that was something I was unable to match, despite the vast improvements brought on by Gai-sensei's training. Even then I realized Juuken would do little good if I could not lay a hand on him.

It was because of Lee that I finally inquired of Haruki-sama if there was not something more I could learn; something beyond Juuken. I knew there must have been, otherwise our clan would not have risen to such dominance. Maybe I was stupid for not realizing before, but somehow it had never occurred to me that the main family would keep us so weak, even to the point of making us nearly useless. I was shocked by his reply.

"For you, Neji, no. There is nothing beyond Juuken."

It truly infuriated me that I should be so limited. However, the anger only pushed me further and increased my determination. I wouldn't be held back by a group of jealous, arrogant bastards who considered themselves the only ones worthy of the power that came with our Hyuuga blood. It was my blood as well and my right to use it to its fullest potential. I would not stop now when there was so much more!

I never spoke of it again to Haruki-sama, though. Had he known my intentions, no doubt he would have tried to put an immediate stop to my efforts for fear I would be discovered. Nor did I want him to be implicated should I be found out. I didn't want to cause him trouble on my account, so I protected him and kept my new training secret. Evenings, early mornings, whatever time I could spare from my normal training regiment, I put into this new training. But I was feeling my way through it blindly, with no direction. If I were even to progress a little, I needed more than the vague descriptions of techniques Haruki-sama had given me.

I needed to see with my own two eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm back!

I realize it's been way too long, but I'm attempting to get back into the habit of writing. Things at work are momentarily winding down a little, which I hope will give me time to produce another update soon. This update has been way too long in coming and I'm very sorry for the delay.

As always, feedback is very much appreciated and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter... which I hope was worth the wait.

-sor

* * *

Ihad never paid much mind to the main family or their activities so long as they didn't involve me. I had always let them go about their business, staying as far away as possible. But now, I sought them out, lurked around corners and in bushes, observing them as they went about their training, and absorbing every ounce of it. All the things they never told us.

I was never certain if during those weeks of risky spying, I was ever discovered. However, I do not think I was. No one knows better how to avoid Hyuuga eyes than another Hyuuga, especially one who does not wish to be seen. I was silent and discreet, never staying longer than a few moments, sometimes passing through the outer gardens as they worked, observing out of the corner of my eye as I went about other business. This was how I first saw Hakkeshou Kaiten.

I had been sent on a rather convenient errand from Haruki-sama, who had found himself busy with other matters. Some type of conflict in the lower branch families that was of little interest to me. Still, it provided me the opportunity to deliver a message to Hiashi-sama, who was currently in the main yard attempting, in vain, to dredge some hint of talent out of Hinata-sama. Witnessing such a moment was an admittedly wonderful bonus.

I came upon them just in time to hear the last of his explanation, a thing I found absolutely fascinating. It was a technique requiring precise chakra control and I knew that was where my real talent lay. However, I hadn't heard a word of the basic principle of the Kaiten. Had he not demonstrated before he noticed my presence, I may have never figured out a thing. For a boy in my position, who had not until recently had any idea that such techniques existed, it was an undeniably awe inspiring thing to behold. It was not only the intimidation factor of such power that impressed me, but more the precise way in which Hiashi-sama was able to control his chakra and form it into something both powerful and, in my eyes, exceedingly beautiful.

Had I not stood out in the open, mouth agape, I may have seen even more. It was unlike me to be a fool, especially in the exact moment when it would harm me the most. I was jarred painfully from my revere upon realizing that instead of the brilliant blue of Hiashi-sama's impenetrable barrier of chakra, I was staring into a pair of intensely angry white eyes and those eyes were staring back at me expectantly. It took me a moment to recall my task and the scroll clenched a bit too tightly in my fists.

I recovered my composure remarkably quickly and approached, showing all of the proper respect that Hiashi-sama's rank demanded, but did not deserve. "Haruki-sama asked me to bring this to you." There was nothing specific in my posture and tone that suggested disrespect, but somehow Hiashi-sama always seemed to know it was there, hidden carefully just beneath the surface.

It was an admirable quality in us both that we managed to be at all civil to one another; Hiashi-sama never seemed to have any desire for argument, unlike so many of his lesser cousins. Still, it showed in his eyes that he hated me and talented as I was at reading expression, it was impossible for him to hide it, no matter how carefully constructed his mask. So much was communicated between him and me in those few moments of silence before he took the scroll, but like all our encounters, those silent words were nearly impossible to define. It was easier to focus only on what was spoken. "Thank you, Neji. You may return to your training."

I recognized the words for what they were, not as permission to leave, but as a demand to do so. He knew what I had seen and was quick enough to recognize in me the ability to learn through observation. However, he seriously underestimated my resolve and my talent. I had seen just enough to begin my own tentative efforts at mastering Kaiten.

However, after many months of solitary practice in the forest, I struck an impasse. There was no way to be sure I had mastered Kaiten without a method of testing it. I needed help. I could not even consider searching within the clan, nor could I ask it of Gai-sensei. He would see such a request as a crack in my armor and use such an opportunity to try and force me into some emotional display regarding my youth and hard work or some other nonsense. No, Gai-sensei was not an option.

Nor was Lee. To involve him in my training would be to give him the impression that I thought him remotely worthy of my time. Besides that, what fool would show his rival his most powerful technique? Kaiten was a counter to Lee's speed and I would not give him the chance to see it before I used it to defeat him once and for all.

That only left one person who was both discrete and trustworthy, not to mention a perfect compliment to Kaiten training. TenTen.

Despite being teammates, TenTen and I had never really spoken outside of our training sessions. I was both busy and secretive and I'd seen in her nothing more than a member of my team. A much more agreeable member than Lee, of course, but still nothing more. Yet, out of all of them, I liked her best. She was not so loud… or so stupid. Certainly, she had been an eager participant in Gai-sensei's pep talks and had more than happily urged me to be more enthusiastic. Yet at the same time, she held no illusions about her own strength. She didn't battle against fate the way Lee did, but was content with her skill. She was not weak by any means and while she had goals, they were not the sum total of her every thought. In that way, she was quite different from not only Lee, but myself as well.

I liked her more, too, because she was the only one on the team who really recognized my genius and didn't put every ounce of her energy into proving me wrong. She had always acknowledged me.

She and I worked well together right from the start. She did her part for me, despite the extra hours of work, despite the early mornings and late nights. And despite the fact that she was already doing a favor for me, she provided not only her most dedicated aid, but comforts I had never considered a necessity. Homemade obentou, special tea, her mother's recipe that she had made just for me. All the little things that might have been insignificant to most people… but I had never had anyone to make obentou for me before.

A simple meal of rice and beef, nothing spectacular, but I found myself fascinated with the thought of it and sat for what seemed an eternity stirring the meat and vegetables with my chopsticks as if they somehow held the key to my destiny. Or at least the key to understanding why she would do such a generous thing. I was also keenly aware of her presence at my side; the way she pretended to focus on her own food when in reality she was stealing glances at me out of the corner of her eye. It was distracting. So much so, in fact, that I found it impossible to think of anything else.

She blushed fiercely when I turned my most stern gaze on her, but rather than looking scolded as I assumed she might, TenTen merely smiled shyly and averted her gaze once more. My brows furrowed; a common reaction on my part, but one I never particularly noticed. "Is something bothering you?"

Her cheeks took on an even brighter shade of pink and she was quick to shake her head, so quick that I knew at once it was a lie. Not only was she exhibiting all the signs of anxiety, but she seemed to have lost her appetite as well. "No, Neji. I was just thinking. You're improving so quickly with the Kaiten. I was just..." She hesitated, the color rising even more brightly so that her entire face seemed to glow red. I couldn't for the life of me understand why she had such a reaction to a simple question. But at least she managed to find the will to continue. "I was just wondering what would happen when you don't need my help anymore."

It was my turn to shift my focus back to my untouched food, finding the beef easier to face than the girl beside me. Judging by her words and her nervous posture, she was obviously dreading the day our training ended. I had never given any thought to such a thing and so it took me by surprise that it could possibly be significant to her. And if the fact of the matter weren't so confusing, there was still the even worse question of the incomprehensible emotions I could practically feel radiating from her. "I suppose things will return to normal. You'll have more time to work with Gai-sensei, more energy to devote to your own improvement."

"That's not what I meant, Neji." TenTen grew suddenly bolder, turning to face me fully after placing her obentou in the grass. Her expression had become slightly indignant and somehow all of her uncertainty had vanished. "I meant what would happen with us? Are you just gonna go back to training all the time on your own and not work with me or the team anymore?"

It was so easy to ignore all the things I heard beneath her words, if only because I wasn't so sure I wanted to see it. It was too much trouble to comprehend, and while I was never one to take the path of least resistance, it seemed wise in this case to pretend everything was as it had always been. Some new roads were best left unexplored. "Work with the team? Haven't I been doing enough of that lately?"

"You know Gai-sensei hates it when you don't show up." Any discomfort she had felt before had melted away and she was addressing me with an almost scolding tone, as if she thought I should care what made Gai-sensei unhappy. That man had no concept of unhappiness. He would survive the disappointment, no doubt.

Rather than cause conflict by voicing such thoughts, though, I merely shrugged her words off, finally beginning to eat the contents of my obentou. "Gai-sensei should understand that my first commitment is to my clan. I made no secret of it from the start."

My feigned indifference obviously seemed real enough, because all at once she took on a stern tone I had only heard on rare occasions when she thought Lee was acting too stubbornly with his training. However, this was the first time she had used such a tone with me. It did as she had intended and captured my attention completely. "Don't be so cruel, Neji! Gai-sensei only wants to see us improve as a team. The chuunin exam will be coming around soon again and we have to be ready."

"We will be ready. I have every confidence that Gai-sensei will prepare the two of you and I will see to my own preparation." Training with the team at this stage would only take focus from my work. I had been using the excuse of training with the team in order to escape the scrutiny of the clan and should I truly begin to train more often with Gai-sensei, I would lose the chance to perfect those precious, stolen techniques. "I can't waste time, TenTen. I can't afford to at this stage."

I hadn't considered my words quite as carefully as I should have and it was only when I saw the crease of her brow that I realized I had spoken badly. "So training with the team is a waste of time?" I hadn't intended my words to mean such a thing and deep down I was sure she knew as much, but for the first time I found myself unable to read another human being; possibly because I was so effectively put off my game by her sudden accusations. "Maybe I should say training with you is a waste of time, too."

Before I could stop myself, I had rolled my eyes skyward, releasing a huff of breath in annoyance. Whatever game she was playing, I refused to allow it to work. I wouldn't fall for her amateurish little act. "You know damn well I didn't mean that."

My attack against her integrity only prompted her frown to grow deeper and her arms to cross over her chest. Still, it was only a cover for the fact that I had seen through her indignation and my insight had caught her unawares. "You should come train with us tomorrow. Just this once. Please, Neji."

I was on the verge of refusing yet again, but she saw my intentions even before I voiced them and her eyes took on an expression of resignation. Perhaps it was because of this that I finally agreed, simply because my rebellious nature wanted to prove to her that I was not so predictable. "Fine. I'll try to show up tomorrow, but I won't make any promises."

Her spirits brightened in an instant, not bothering to maintain the act that had been such an effective put-on. It only made me feel all the more idiotic for having fallen for it. Still, I had given my word and there was little I could do besides take minor pleasure in the fact that she, at least, was smiling. TenTen's face never seemed at all right without a smile. However, mesmerized as I was by her smile, I failed to detect the tell tale shift in her posture that heralded the oncoming hug.

She had never hugged me before. In fact, other than the occasional embrace from my old aunt, no one since my father had ever done such a thing. Even Gai-sensei, emotional fool that he was, knew better than to force such displays of affection upon me. TenTen, however, seemed uninformed when it came to the unspoken rule that Hyuuga do not hug. "Thank you, Neji! Gai-sensei will be so happy."

She seemed to realize too late that her embrace had only brought forth a fresh wave of tension in my shoulders and she drew back, looking suitably sheepish. Still, she did her best not to make a scene and did just as I wished. She pretended nothing at all had happened and other than the slightest hint of haste in her movements as she gathered the remnants of her food there was no hint at all that anything unusual had occurred between us. "I should get going. Mom's probably wondering what's keeping me. I'll see you in the morning, though." Her smile had returned in full force as she climbed to her feet, tossing a wave over her shoulder. "I expect you to show up or I might just have to come knock down the walls around the Hyuuga compound."

Pointless threats like that never struck me as humorous, though perhaps at the moment it was only because I had already begun to dread the next day. I knew well enough I was exaggerating things in my own mind. Really, training with the team wasn't bad and I had done it often enough to be immune to Gai-sensei, but lately it had seemed even more of a trial than usual. Still, I had given my word and was reluctant to go break it, especially after seeing the joy it prompted in TenTen.

True to form, when I arrived the next morning, Gai-sensei was nearly brought to tears. Despite myself, I nearly smiled. It was nice to know the idiot placed such value on my presence. Even more pleasant, though, was the fact that TenTen was just as overjoyed. Really, it was ridiculous that they would be so pleased over something so insignificant, but I'm not ashamed to say their excitement certainly did its part to inflate my ego.

As it turned out, my timing could not have been better. Once Gai-sensei was through proclaiming his joy at seeing his entire team assembled, he settled down much more quickly than usual into that dramatically serious tone that was only heard on rare occasions. He examined the three of us with a beaming smile while producing three slips of paper from the inner pocket of his vest which he distributed to us directly. It was a simple document; a registration card bearing our names and his along with a few additional lines of text.

Once the cards had been distributed, Gai-sensei stepped back, striking a pose of dramatic overconfidence. Everything with Gai-sensei was overdone, though it was soothing to my ego to note the immense pride in his expression, directed not only at Lee, as I so often felt it was, but at all three of us. "After nearly a year of training and hard work the time has finally come for you to prove yourselves. Those are registration cards for the upcoming chuunin exam." I briefly wondered if the man would manage to contain himself throughout the entirety of his little speech. Every word seemed to bring his excitement to a new level of ridiculous.

And much as I expected, Gai-sensei's serious tone began to vanish, only to be replaced by something far more exuberant. "I'm expecting the three of you to work hard in these upcoming weeks in order to prepare and I have no doubt that you will do your very best!"

It was only a matter of time before Lee practically explode and I was shocked it had taken him so long, but prompted by Gai-sensei's words of encouragement, Lee thrust a fist into the air and exclaimed in an all-too-excited tone. "Hai, Gai-sensei!"

I, on the other hand, responded with my usual confidence, revealing nothing more than a confidant smile. So the chuunin exams had come again. I had been furious six months ago when Gai-sensei had refused to enter us in the exam. Truth be told, I still was furious, however at least now I could see some of the wisdom in his decision. After all, six months ago, I had not even begun to attempt Kaiten and while Gai-sensei knew nothing of my secret training, I had to admit that having such a useful tool on our side would serve the team well in the exam. My gaze lingered on the registration card a moment longer before drifting upward to Gai-sensei where he stood practically beaming, one arm extended to display his typical thumbs up. For once it didn't bother me. He had every reason to have faith in us.

"Hai, Gai-sensei." I could feel my lips quirking into an uncontrollable smile, though I knew well enough to maintain the severity of my gaze, forcing the expression to lose any hint of friendliness lest my idiot sensei mistake it for affection. "It will be no challenge at all."


End file.
